Thursday, January 29, 2015

insecurities

some of my friends came into town the other weekend and i still feel hungover from it. not literally hungover, but i've just noticed how hard it is for me to bounce back when i get off of my routine. and i'm only 26.. isn't it weird when you can feel your body age?! we had late night after late night and played busch one too many times. one night, we went to merrits at 2 in the morning, got our scone fix, then went sledding after. all my friends had kids that they left at home with an 11 year old who drank his first red bull so he could stay awake in case anything happened.. nothing did with the kids but my friend smashed his face pretty good on the ice and got a black eye and a skinned cheek. it was honestly one of the best weekends i've had in a long time. i laughed hard, had too many adrenaline rushes, and made some good memories. i felt like i knew some of the couples forever when really, we were just acquaintances. 
we went to mccall to going skiing and on the car ride up we got into a deep conversation. and i love deep conversations haha. i feel like i can really connect with people when i learn the nitty gritty of their life. i'm not trying to be nosy, i just like to see walls come down and i feel like our friendships are more meaningful when i really get to know them. everyone has a story that makes them who they are and i want to know it. truly, one of my least favorite things to do is shoot the breeze with strangers. or just shooting the breeze with anybody.. give me some substance and i'm your best friend! so, this leads to my friend asking us all out of the blue what our insecurities are. it was interesting to hear what everyone had to say. what i learned is that we all have them. big or small. but they're there. some are similar and some are different and some i would totally disagree with.. but when they're your insecurities, you notice them even if others don't. 
what i realized about myself is that it's not so much that i am insecure about things.. because the things i would like to work on changing don't prevent me from doing them.. it's more things i wish were more natural for me. but like i said, it doesn't prevent me from doing anything. sure, i'd love to have a rockin bod, but it doesn't prevent me from getting in a swimsuit. sure, i'd love my videography work to be better, but it doesn't prevent me from doing what i love. sure, i'd love to be an amazing snowboarder (i have dreams about this weekly) but my non-daring self isn't prevented from snowboarding. i don't know. i just feel like do what you love, love what you are and you will be happy. it's easy to worry about what other people think about you, but they're also worried about what you think about them.
i felt like after we all opened up and told each other what our "insecurities" were, there was a blanket lifted and we were all on the same page. after talking so openly with one another only made me want to do one thing. and that was to be 100% confident in myself and to be happy with the gifts and talents i have. as long as i'm working and striving at challenging myself while keeping my sanity along the way, it's a win.
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Sunday, January 4, 2015

christmas // 2014


we spent chrismas this year with both of our families. we were in utah for 6 days and left to mccall christmas afternoon. my family has a tradition on christmas eve to eat pizza and drink chocolate milk. this year tanner and i wanted to change it a little bit so we each made our own homemade pizza instead of getting delivery and i think everyone really liked it. it may be a new tradition now. christmas eve day we did last minute shopping, saw interstellar, then went to nickelcade. tanner absolutely loves nickel cade haha. after eating our homemade pizzas, we opened gifts from one another and played a nut game that our friends taught us. christmas morning was the usual gifts and our 100th time watching "a christmas story." before we left to mccall we stuffed ourselves with moms prime rib, mashed potatoes, rolls, and all the good stuff. i really enjoyed christmas this year. granite, we had family drama, as always, but all in all, we all enjoyed being with each other. while we were in utah we went to snowbird and i forgot how crazy amazing utah snow is. i haven't ridden in utah in over 5 years.. that actually hurt my heart to write.. but it had been way too long. it had snowed the night before and the powder was just crazy fluffy and light. i had a happy heart. 
anyway, we drove straight to mccall from utah on christmas. we spent the rest of the weekend with tanner's family and rode at tamarack. it was super fun. i always love spending times with the dames. i had one of the best days riding powder that saturday.. but then i got lost that evening.. and that is a whole different post to write.. so i'll leave it at that day was super fun. we had fresh powder lines all day and that never happens. for the first time ever, i didn't even want to stop for lunch because i was having so much fun. 
i'm so grateful for my savior. the older i get, the more i start to understand the gospel and how perfect it is. i wish i was more proactive in sharing it with others but i hope that i can be an example of it by the way i live. i loved this christmas season and for the chance i had to spend it with family. i hope you all enjoyed yours too. 
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Monday, December 8, 2014

christmas decor // 2014

...is pretty much the same as last year.


^a wreath made by my momma


^an elephant for ivory


^a bulldog for cuba


 
 ^kiss kiss!


^i got this idea from a fancy day blog. (i also got a blog makeover thanks to her!) we've never done an advent calendar and we tend to skip some fun activities that could be done around Christmas time. this has helped us have fun and make the season a little more magical. also, i got tired of re-arranging so the 24th is a little lonely.


 today, i read the post that i wrote last year about how i was feeling during the Christmas season. oh i was in a sad place. last year, i didn't want to do anything nor did i care to do anything that had to do with the holiday. i normally got a feeling of excitement when Christmas decorations started appearing but it never came last year. this year, i felt the excitement way back in October! i wanted this year to be different and i wanted to bring more cheer to my home. i can tell a difference in tanner as well as i've tried to implement our advent calendar for our date nights or just doing things at home. every day has a few scriptures we read that have to do with the birth of our Savior. every day we kiss under the mistletoe. every day i have my pine scentsy and cinnamon candle burning because that combination is Christmas. and every day i ask tanner if we can sleep by the tree. (that one hasn't happened yet) so far, this month has been wonderful and so different from last year. i've said it before and i'll say it again, i wish so badly ivory was here enjoying it with us, but i feel her near often. i can't wait to spend Christmas with ten little kids running around the house.

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Sunday, December 7, 2014

thanksgiving // mexico


we went to rocky point, mexico for thanksgiving. tanner and i had been there a couple times before about this time of year and it was always too cold to really hang out at the beach and pool. we got really lucky with weather in the lower 80's and were able to take full advantage of the sun. we flew into phoenix really late the night before thanksgiving and drove two hours to ajo to stay the night and drove the final two hours in the morning. we brought cuba with us and she was awesome on the plane and had the best time at the beach. i wish i got pictures of her and my brother in laws dog playing because it was hysterical. the beach was like a huge dog park and she made a lot of friends. we had our traditional thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings and enjoyed it on the patio of the condo overlooking the pool and ocean. we rented razors one evening and went crazy around the sand dunes. i had major whip lash for a few days afterward but it was super fun. we also went on a short 15 minute ride on a water weenie in the ocean. i didn't want to go, because i don't like tubing.. but i couldn't stop laughing! we didn't go very fast and i still had a hard time holding on but it was fun! as always, we went into town for tacos and drank our fair share of mexican coke. but my favorite tacos were ones that we made at the condo. we got fresh shrimp from the market and had authentic mexican cheese and tortillas. they were SO good. we definitely didn't go hungry on our trip. we ate a lot of shrimp because it was ridiculously good and on steroids. i got to meet my nephew, rockwell and that chunk is the cutest thing ever. i couldn't get enough of him. my niece, mccall was also there and i need to keep a journal of the funny things she says. she's a hoot and had a laughing the whole weekend. 

i have a lot to be thankful for. i felt spoiled going on this trip because, it wasn't needed, but i took advantage of it. i enjoyed being with family. i married into a wonderful family and i love getting to spend time with them. they're the best and i thank my lucky stars that i have them. i hope you all had a great thanksgiving!



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