girls trip to california

back in april, i met my sister and mom in utah and we drove to california to visit my brother who lives in the san diego area. it was a quick trip with a lot of driving but it was way fun. we stopped in vegas the first night and saw the butterfly/flower exhibit and watched the water show. i am not a fan of vegas but we had a really good night. i love the butterfly/flower exhibit and they had the water show playing to singing in the rain. the weather was perfect and we just did enjoyed ourselves. the next morning we drove to san diego, met up with my brother and went to the beach that evening. we went to encinitas the following day and met up with my friends, lex and loren, and just hung out at stone steps beach. again, perfect weather. then our last day in california we drove to LA to go the the Price is Right. we got in line really early because we weren't sure if we'd even get in. well, we did, and it was a long day of waiting. we waited for seven hours before we got into the studio. but it was a dream come true haha. i loved seeing it all happen in person and to be a part of the crowd. it was exciting since i grew up watching the show. we didn't get on the show but the lady sitting next to us did. that is my claim to fame. we hit the rush hour LA traffic afterwards and i was freaking out. that traffic really sucks, especially if you don't know the area. we finally got out of the mess and drove back to vegas that night. then the next morning drove back to utah. and that is our trip all wrapped up in this long paragraph. 

*my mom doesn't like getting her picture taken. i have several of her but she is never looking at the camera haha. love my mama.

photo compilation

this is a long photo compilation of our california road trip because i've been really bad at updating this blog and i might as well get it all on here now. there is no order.. just my favorite photos that were taken. i love road trips. i love to see all the beauty this earth has to offer and how quickly the scenery can change. northern california is GORGEOUS fyi.. we went to napa valley and i was geeking out at every vineyard i saw with the beautiful mountains around them. we went to sacramento for a friends wedding and then drove down the coast. i ended up flying home out of LA to film some weddings back home and tanner is actually still there. and guess what.. it was my first time flying alone. after almost 26 years of life and i finally flew all by myself. i sat in the airport for 9 hours because tanner had to drop me off early so he could get to some meetings. it was honestly enjoyable. i can't remember the last time i had free time to just sit and read a book. i started and finished "the fault in our stars" and i'm really excited to see the movie. or am i? that book tore at my heart and i'm sure the movie will do the same. anyway, it was a good trip to get away for a little while and to spend time with tanner. it was fun. 

reflecting

tanner isn't a fan of the camera. i don't know why, he's got the cutest face. so when i get pictures like these, i have to post them. we went to visit ivory on memorial day and the sun was just setting. we finished arranging the flowers around her tiny plaque and just stood there in silence. tanner leaned in a gave me a kiss then wrapped me in his arms. he then told me "i'm a good women." i cried quietly to myself and just soaked in the moment. i miss ivory a lot. it stinks not being pregnant yet but i am enjoying my time with tanner. i've learned to make the best of my situation instead of wishing it were different. tanner makes all of this easier. it has brought us closer together and bonded us stronger than i could imagine. i am very lucky to have him in my life.

kickstarter campaign

my sister in law and i launched a project on kickstarter of some products that are used to hang plants. now, i know these have been done before, but we want to get them manufactured to lower the cost and time of making these. i have a lot of love for plants, flowers, and nature and thought this was a pretty way to display it. please check out our kickstarter here and i would love any support by sharing it or backing it. 

time

we were at the cemetery sunday night and it dawned on me that ivory has been gone longer than i was pregnant with her. what an impact that little girl made on my life. it still seems so fresh and raw to me. i still feel like i'm the "girl who lost her baby" or so, that's what i think of myself to be. although i know that isn't what others think of me. a few posts back i talked about trying to figure out what are trials and what is satan? well, i figured we have trials and we have temptations. my temptations are minimal. my temptations are chocolate and shopping and maybe being on the edge of modesty sometimes.. all in all, my temptations are not that major. but my trials are. i've always felt that my trials would be due to health and medical conditions. i just thought they would be my own such as having skin cancer. i have imagined over and over what it would be like to get a phone call from my dermatologist telling me i need to have chemo and radiation due to a cancerous mole. this hasn't happened, and hopefully won't. instead, i watched my helpless daughter struggle and suffer. and that was the worst pain i think anyone could feel.

i often felt that i couldn't handle the pain i felt after ivory passed away. but then that quote "god only gives you trials you can handle" would come to my mind. and i thought it was baloney. i was dealing with something way beyond my control. then shortly after i stumbled upon a blog post ( i wish i would have saved it, because i don't remember who wrote it ) that talked about god giving us trials we can't handle and the reasons for it. it brought me a lot of comfort. basically it said we are sometimes given trials much too hard for us and that is what will bring us closer to our savior. we will come to rely on him and have him pick up the pain that we can no longer endure. i imagine the yolk that oxen carry. one ox cannot carry it alone, but there needs to be two. i think of my savior on one side of the yolk and me on the other, carrying this weight together.

7 in a half months have passed and i've watched the seasons change from fall to winter to now spring. time has passed quickly but so slow at the same time. i saw the movie "about time" the other week and loved it. i loved the message it relayed about being in every moment and living life to the fullest. i have tried to implement that a little more to my life. i have tried to soak in the time i have with my husband, family, friends, my dog, and just by myself. this life is a gift. time is a gift.

this is late. and has no point.

 there really isn't much point to this post. just that we spent christmas in mccall and i love mccall. there wasn't a lot of snow which was a bummer but there was enough to get in a few days of boarding. my in laws have two places in the area and one of them is one the tamarack resort. it's absolutely perfect. it's ski in ski out and has a cozy little hot tub on the deck. it is one of my favorite places to get away to. i love to get up there any chance i can get.