Monday, June 17, 2013

a not so happy to happy fathers day

i had it all planned out to wake up early to make tanner a well-deserved father's day breakfast. lately i've been waking up on my own before 8 so i thought it'd be no problem making him breakfast before my 10 o' clock church meeting. i ended up waking up at 9:50... jumped out of bed and threw on my clothes and went to my meeting. i remember thinking that i felt wet... (sorry if that's really gross) .... and then i thought i should have used the restroom before i left, i just didn't have time. my meeting was really short, only 15 minutes. when i got home i apologized to tanner a thousand times for not making his morning special but of course, he didn't care. then tanner asked what was on the back of my skirt. i looked and had no idea what it was because it was brand new and i had never worn it before. i went into the bathroom to see if i could scrub it out and that's when i realized it was blood on my skirt and that i had a lot more blood in my underwear... (again, sorry if that grosses you out) ... at 22 weeks pregnant, this wasn't a good sign.
you could probably guess that i turned into a complete mess. i couldn't control my crying and had every awful thought of losing this baby going through my head. i was in shock, and only knew we had to get to the hospital. tanner was extremely calm and comforting, thank goodness, i could not have gone through this alone.
as we drove to the hospital, i could feel my girl moving, stronger movements than usual. it worried me and i thought something was making her struggle. we checked into labor and delivery and i couldn't bare the thought of delivering a still born baby or super pre-mature baby.
 the first thing they did was whip out an ultra-sound. i remember looking at the screen, seeing my baby girl, and feeling so comforted. she was perfect. in my mind, in that brief second, there was no way i could lose her. the nurse continued to move the wand around until we saw her heart beat. it was strong and steady. it was a perfect 143. no signs of stress, or struggling. she was perfect. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
the nurse strapped a heart monitor and a contraction monitor to me and told me her heartbeat was great, but we needed to stop the contractions. contractions? i didn't even know i was having contractions. i was having them every two minutes and they were triggered from losing the blood. the strong movements i was feeling in the car, and had thought were my baby, were actually contractions. after about 30 minutes the nurse decided to give me a shot which would stop them all together. so there we waited, in this little room, knowing our baby was okay, and waited for the contractions to go away.
 then i decided to get some pictures :D
^^ i promise, he was only on his phone once we realized all was A O.K.
 ^^ contraction monitor
^^ contractions calming down

 the worst father's day turned into the happiest father's day. i remember thinking that this girl needs to be okay. she needs to be okay so she gets the chance to have tanner for her dad. he is one incredible man that i love too much. it hit home for both of us how much we really wanted this baby to be in our family. it became more of a reality that we were ready and would give anything to keep her. it was the first time we really talked about names (whenever i ask tanner what names he likes, his response is "turkey") and what we want to her to be like, ect. we still don't know what the cause was for all of this and we know that there was nothing i could have done to prevent it. i just think i jinxed myself. i got cocky thinking my pregnancy was too normal. this put life into perspective though. these moments make you realize what's important and what's most definitely not. i had many texts and phone calls and sweet words from people i love. i appreciate that so much.
well, my doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of the day or until further notice. he put me on pelvic rest for at least a week, heh heh. so i caught up on my hulu shows and tanner ended up pampering me instead of me pampering him. gosh, i love him.

 ^^ this is pretty much what the day looked like
 ^^ cuba rarely left my side
 ^^ then we all watched pretty little liars together :)
^^ 22 weeks and HAPPPPPY!

i had an appointment this morning with my doctor and i'm still on pelvic rest hehe, but not bed rest. he said everything looked great and i can continue on with my normal routines. she has grown a few cm. and i've gained 4 pounds in the last two weeks :/ haha. all is well!

ps, kudos to you if you read all of this!

Sunday, June 9, 2013


 we spent the morning of our friends wedding at the japanese rose gardens. oh what a dream it would be to have something like this at home! it smelled so good, even tanner liked the smell, and he doesn't care for the smell of flowers. i wish these pictures gave it more justice but it was beautiful.
^^ everyone was getting their sniff on since they all had different scents
^^ even cuba stopped to smell the roses
 ^^ tanner wore his extremely appropriate shirt for the occasion
 ^^ caught cuba mid-yawn
you tired of all the rose pictures? i took a lot.. i really love flowers.  
we headed to the city after the gardens. tanner and taylor were out for our friends bachelor party the night before and brought a box of voodoo donuts back to the hotel for breakfast. we did get to go by the actual shop and i'm glad we didn't have to wait in line, but i snapped a photo anyway. they are probably better fresh because i didn't think they were anything special. they were delicious, but nothing special. we walked around downtown and worked up an appetite to stop at the food trucks. we opted on a middle eastern truck and got falafels and gyros. also got a coke to find out it was the GOOD coke made with sugar cane. honestly made my afternoon.. it tasted SO good for some reason. after lunch we headed to the temple to see our friends get married. it was a beautiful ceremony and i'm so happy for them. we headed back to idaho after their marriage and stopped in hood river for some dang good thai food. with full bellies, we got on the road around 10 at night to make the longggg drive to boise. we got home at 4 in the morning and crashed. 
^^ portland truly is weird. that's the perfect word for it

Thursday, June 6, 2013

the oregon coast

we headed over to the oregon coast last weekend for a friends wedding. i haven't been to the coast in a couple of years and it was as beautiful as ever. we lucked out with perfect weather. no rain, 75 degrees, and sunshine. we spent our fist morning/afternoon at indian beach before heading into portland for the pre-wedding dinner. i didn't dare get into the cold water, i actually didn't even bring a swimsuit or anything knowing it wasn't going to happen. ana and i hung out while the boys surfed and cuba chased the birds and ate seaweed. 
 ana looked so serene, i had to take some sneaky pictures
our little girl was making an appearance this day
it was nice to get away for a weekend. it went by fast but i really enjoyed it. we rolled into the coast at 3 in the morning on friday and came back to boise around 4 in the morning on sunday. i am still trying to recover from the lack of sleep, i just don't handle it like i used too. we brought cuba with us.. i loved having her there, but sneaking a puppy into hotels is tricky. it's hard keeping a dog from barking and... pooping and peeing on the floor/maybe on the bed once or twice... she's still potty training. (i'll take any tips or tricks if you have any!) 


Monday, June 3, 2013

so many changes

i had a great 2012. we did a LOT of traveling, which obviously won't stop, but if someone told me how great 2013 would be, i would have skipped 2012 all together. we have made 3 big changes this year and the most exciting would be... getting pregnant! followed by buying a house and adding another member to our family, our french bulldog, cuba. blessings keep flooding our lives and i don't know why, but i'll take them as long as they come! 

i haven't been very good about taking good photos, but my phone has been a great alternative. i've taken a lot of mirror selfies..... and i'm really glad i did! now i can see the progress of this little girl. oh yeah, we are having a girl this october! my due date is october 20th but the ultrasound showed i may go later around the 25th. this was yesterday, at 20 weeks. she has grown a lot this last week. a lot. women say they pop at a certain time and i definitely popped in what seemed over night! 

we had a gender reveal get together at our house with close friends and family. tanner and i were convinced the entire time that we were having a boy. we had boy names and ideas for the nursery picked out. inside though, my heart wanted a girl so bad. 

^^sleepy van

^^we had an ice cream bar and cake to celebrate

^^baby girls first gifts. thanks cristi and megan! so so sweet of you!

we had a cake with the color pink or blue inside to be the surprise and got it on video.  i have to clear up tanner's not so excited expression or action. that IS tanner's excited face and actions haha. he doesn't show it like i do. he doesn't really show it at all. but if he says he's excited, he truly is. he just kind of acts awkward and scratches my back and touches me awkwardly and keeps a subtle smile on his face. the video cracks me up to watch but I KNOW he is so happy. he has told me over and over how happy he is. 

gender reveal from darlene dame on Vimeo.

HOW FAR ALONG? 20 weeks
MATERNITY CLOTHES? not yet, i should though! i unbutton my pants a lot
STRETCH MARKS? Not yet.. hopefully never haha
BEST MOMENT THIS WEEK? seeing our baby girl for the first time! i only get one ultrasound and we had it at our 19 week appointment to find out the gender and get everything checked out. i've loved hearing her heartbeat at earlier appointments but SEEING her was awesome! it was so fun seeing her fingers and heart and head and legs and arms and and and everything!
MOVEMENT: a little bit. i've noticed her roll once and i think she may have kicked me.. but i'm still trying to tell the difference between gas and her moving ;)
FOOD CRAVINGS: not crazy ones where i just have to have it or else.. but i've craved foreign food like papusas, chinese food, plantains, and and i've eaten a lot of bean and cheese burritos.
ANYTHING MAKING YOU QUEESY OR SICK? not any more. wait, actually i threw up this morning at one sniff of my dog. i bathe her more than most people would because i can't stand the smell of dog. well, this morning she smelled like dog and i threw up haha.
GENDER: girl! so happy!
MILESTONES: baby is 10 oz, about the size of a banana 

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